The View I Do Not Have

Every now and then I read a blog from a woman who was terribly burned in a plane crash last summer. Her sister is a really good friend of one of my friends here, and that is how I first learned of Stephanie Nielsen. My friend, Jen, would tell funny stories about Stephanie's life and about her blog. Then when the crash happened I paid a little more attention to this woman and her life.

Today I read something she posted yesterday. You can read it here.

When Stephanie wrote about feeling sorry for herself and the hard road she has to walk (and make no mistake--her road IS hard) and how she sat by her dad with tears in her eyes and without having to say anything to him he said to her:

  "Everything is under control, don't you worry, it is all under control"

I cried.

We all have, at one time or another, a hard road to walk. For me, the goal is to keep moving. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if I go real slow.

My road just got hard and I wanted so much to talk to my Dad about things. Today I read Stephanie's Dad's words to his daughter: Everything is under control, don't you worry, it is all under control. It was almost like hearing my Dad talk to me.

And more than anything I need to remember that Heavenly Father is watching over me and my family and He knows what's going on and...

Everything is under control.

I don't need to worry.

It is all under control.

Just Because He Can

Today Doug and I went to the San Diego Temple. This was part of our planned agenda. We like to try to go to the temple of an area we're visiting, if there is one.

My Dad only has one brother, my Uncle Craig, and he lives in this area. I love looking at Uncle Craig because I can see a lot of my Dad in him and I can imagine what my Dad might be looking like if he had lived and aged. When Uncle Craig and his family still lived in Utah and our family would go for visits, it was always a horrifying and exciting moment when we'd go into their house and Dad and Uncle Craig would attack each other and start to wrestle! It was a brother thing. They even went to the same mission in Argentina, and Dad's first companion was his brother. The story is that even then, when Dad went into the apartment for the first time, the attack happened without a word and they wrestled!

Uncle Craig was part of the first temple presidency of the San Diego Temple when it was dedicated, and he is a temple sealer and a Stake Patriarch now. So as we went to the temple today I was thinking a lot about him and wondering if he might be there today, or not. In the craziness before Christmas I never wrote to let him know we would be in San Diego. I had planned to call today or tomorrow but wondered, in the meantime, if he might be at the temple.

Well, this temple is extraordinary. It is stunningly beautiful in side and out. It felt wonderful to be there. I went with a heart needing and wanting peace. I still carry a lot of sorrow about my Dad's death and I have sadness that he isn't here for my sons, who I believe would benefit hugely from his influence. So with those thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of me I let myself be open to Heavenly Father's spirit.

I had been told that there was a very beautiful atrium at the top of the temple and to be sure to go up there. After Doug and I sat in the Celestial room for awhile we went up the stairs and out a door to the atrium. As I looked through the glass to the other side I saw Uncle Craig talking to another man. It was amazing! He was preparing to do a marriage for a young couple, and a moment later I wouldn't have seen him. Too many moments earlier he wouldn't have been there either. This temple is HUGE with all sorts of levels and doors and stairs and rooms and it was AMAZING for us to be in the same spot at the same time.

It was what I needed. I needed to talk with my Uncle Craig, the closet thing to my Dad without it being my Dad. He was so loving and kind and even had pocket tissues to offer me for my tears!

This was one of those things. One of those moments that God choreographs, just because He can. Once in awhile something so extraordinary happens in my life, something that maybe others would call "coincidence", but it is just too extra-ordinary to be coincidence. And I see it and feel it for what it is. And I know God is whispering to me that it is all okay and He knows my heart, and then He gives me a little gift, not a huge vision or an earth-shaking experience. Just a little gift that says, "See what I can do just for you?"

And today I think my Dad smiled about it.