Miss Abbie continues the tradition of music in our family. She has been taking piano lessons for a few years now and last October her teacher had her play for a judge as part of the Utah Music Teacher's Association something-or-another. She performed well under pressure. Better than I would have.
She was then invited to play one of her pieces in a recital, with other students from around the state, at Weber State University in Ogden.Again, she performed well under pressure.
She plays the piano very well for the short amount of time she's been taking lessons. She's good!BUT, sometimes we have this little battle where she wants to quit lessons and I won't let her. Now, before you judge me too harshly you need to know that the weeks that she wants to quit are the weeks she didn't practice very much, and she just doesn't want to dance to that music. I know what she's feeling. I really hated going to lessons when I wasn't prepared. It is a horrible feeling.
But oh! The emotions! The weeping! The begging! It is enough to make a Mom say "OKAY. ENOUGH ALREADY! YOU CAN QUIT!" I've really had to develop an iron will to be able to withstand that emotional onslaught when it comes.
And it came again last week. In full force. FULL FORCE. ugh.
So I thought: What would be the one thing that I could entice her with? What does she want so much that she would be willing to keep taking piano lessons until she's 18 (the previously agreed upon age, back when she was excited to start lessons)? What could I, you know, BRIBE her with?
(I should pause for a moment here to say that blatant bribery has never been an active part of my mothering philosophy. That might possibly mean that I have engaged in subtle bribery, but I'm not in a position to deny or confirm that.)
And I knew. I just knew what it was that would work.
Pierced ears.
Yep, the old letmehaveholesinmyearssoIcanwearearrings thing. One of those steps we told Abbie she could do when she was 16. Nothing terribly magical about 16. I just didn't want to have the battle of a young girl wanting to wear dangly earrings. I do have an opinion about that. Cute little-girl earrings for little girls. Tasteful earrings for medium age girls. When you're a woman, go for the dangly stuff if you want. That's my opinion.
So after having a discussion with Doug, the green light was on, and we made a deal:
No more complaining about piano lessons or practicing.
You can quit when you're 18 if you want.
If you whine, moan or otherwise complain I take the earrings away.
She agreed in a heartbeat.
And off we went to the World of Beauty!
She was excitedscarednervous.
The lady made the marks and loaded the gun and presto click-o
she had an earring in her ear lobe.
One more side to go and she was done.
This is a good time to capture my own ear-piercing memory. My Dad was pretty much against pierced ears so I never had them. During Thanksgiving break in my first year of college my sister and I went home to Fairfield, CA and I was over at my friend's house visiting and we got talking about pierced ears and how I wanted mine pierced. Cathy somehow talked her mom into piercing my ears with an ice cube a potato and a needle. I spent the rest of Thanksgiving making sure my hair covered my ears when I was at home and I made my sister promise not to say anything. As I recall, when we went back home at Christmas time practically the first words out of her mouth were "Hey Mom and Dad, ask Shauna what she has in her ears!" and my secret was out.A few years later my Mom had her ears pierced. And a few years after that my sister had her ears pierced. I took the heat for that one.
No secrets for my girl. She was so excited and it was fun to be in on the excitement with her!
And there you have it. A little bit of vanity? Yes. A little bit of fun? You betcha. A bold-faced bribe? Ab-so-lute-ly. 6 1/2 years of whine-free piano music? Yipee!!
She's a beauty!
(even without the earrings)
6 comments:
What a beautiful young lady! I think one day she will realize this is a win/win for her. That practicing is horrendous isn't it when they are resistant? Good coaxing! Bribery is such a strong word! LOL!
I pretty much love everything about this. You pierced your ears with a frozen needle? Without your parents knowing? And then your mom and sister followed years later?
So awesome.
We've had many a discussion about ear-piercing lately, because Kiana just got hers pierced and she's the first in the fam (besides my mom). We've all grown up with a "not until you're 18" rule, which turned into a "why now?" attitude, at least for me and my older sisters.
But lately I've been wanting them pierced, and, well, I've also been wishing that my piano skills were better.
So anyway, I think bribery is perfectly acceptable, in this case as in others. Years from now she will THANK YOU for finding a way to keep her in piano and not letting her quit. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!
As I was looking to see if you had a new post, I read this one again and when I came to the last photo of Abbie i was dumb struck at how much her pose and her smile looked like THE Mona Lisa!!!
She is a sweetheart--Abbie, that is!!!
i have been missing you, Shaun. Hope you are doing well! I was a little less dependable on my posts over Christmas while we were in Utah and hazel was in the hospital. I hope your mom didn't give up on me. I am back now finally! Give her my love too!
Well, I've never been against adding a little incentive towards positive behavior, after all, the Lord offers us a mansion in heaven if we'll just be good on earth! Abbie IS beautiful, and there IS a Mona Lisa look to her amazing smile. But don't hold your breath for no whining about practicing! Or at least for still needing "support" for her decision--the spirit is willing and all ; }
. . . . .
p.s. it was my mother who pierced my ears with ice and no potato, against my father's approval. I, too, was the first in the fam, (sixth grade, I believe) and likewise, everyone soon followed suit. Looking back, I do think that was a bit young for that decision. I gave my girls a 14 year age limit. My father-in-law offered them $10 if they wouldn't, which worked for one until she was 28! #1 & #5 took the plunge long since, and last two still haven't gone for it (age 14 & 16). We'll see. Meanwhile, I stopped wearing earrings since about 1985, so as not to influence their decision (also, I'm not much of a jewelry freak, and found that having earrings pulled by babes in arms was no fun). Don't know if I'll go back to wearing them again ever in my life.
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